List of banned items:
A little while ago, if I were able to find a gypsy wandering around my neighborhood, I might have sought out a trade. Olivia for something less messy.
About a week ago, I found Olivia perched on top of Sophia's changing table. She climbed up and was busy applying Desitin diaper rash cream. To her hair. I cleaned her up and scolded her. I looked into her giant blue eyes, filled to the brim with tears that threatened to spill out. I said in my most serious voice, "Olivia, this is a no-no. You have made a mess. Climbing onto the changing table is dangerous. Are you going to do this again?" She quivered and said, "No, Mommy".
Well, as you can probably guess, she did it again. She climbed up and I found her perched on the changing table. This time she left the Desitin alone. Probably because she found the tube almost completely empty from her last episode. This time, she went straight for the almost full jar of Vaseline. It. was. everywhere. She liberally applied it to her body, clothing, and hair. She liberally applied it to the bottle of baby lotion and the container of baby wipes. She smeared it all over the baby's hairbrush. She even finger-painted the wall with it.
This time, I didn't kneel down to her level and say anything in a quiet, serious voice. I completely lost my mind. I yelled, I fussed. I cussed. She laughed, and she clasped her hands together and started saying her evening bedtime prayers. I am pretty sure, at that point, I muttered beneath my breath, "you better be praying".
Have you ever tried to clean up Vaseline? It is quite a challenge. Heck, it is completely disgusting. Georgia tried to help, she fetched my camera when I asked for it, and then she fetched the entire contents of the kitchen's washcloth drawer. I lost count of how many baby wipes I used.
I sent Olivia straight to her room. You may be a smartaleck who asks where I was while all of this was happening. Well, I was cleaning up the lunch dishes, loading the dishwasher, and putting the slipcover back on the family room sofa. The same slipcover that was covered in red, green and blue graffiti last night after Sophia found the markers left out on the table (by Olivia, might I add).
For Pete's Sake, I need a drink.