Monday, September 8, 2008

Another item on the list of banned items...

List of banned items:



A little while ago, if I were able to find a gypsy wandering around my neighborhood, I might have sought out a trade. Olivia for something less messy.

About a week ago, I found Olivia perched on top of Sophia's changing table. She climbed up and was busy applying Desitin diaper rash cream. To her hair. I cleaned her up and scolded her. I looked into her giant blue eyes, filled to the brim with tears that threatened to spill out. I said in my most serious voice, "Olivia, this is a no-no. You have made a mess. Climbing onto the changing table is dangerous. Are you going to do this again?" She quivered and said, "No, Mommy".

Well, as you can probably guess, she did it again. She climbed up and I found her perched on the changing table. This time she left the Desitin alone. Probably because she found the tube almost completely empty from her last episode. This time, she went straight for the almost full jar of Vaseline. It. was. everywhere. She liberally applied it to her body, clothing, and hair. She liberally applied it to the bottle of baby lotion and the container of baby wipes. She smeared it all over the baby's hairbrush. She even finger-painted the wall with it.




This time, I didn't kneel down to her level and say anything in a quiet, serious voice. I completely lost my mind. I yelled, I fussed. I cussed. She laughed, and she clasped her hands together and started saying her evening bedtime prayers. I am pretty sure, at that point, I muttered beneath my breath, "you better be praying".



Have you ever tried to clean up Vaseline? It is quite a challenge. Heck, it is completely disgusting. Georgia tried to help, she fetched my camera when I asked for it, and then she fetched the entire contents of the kitchen's washcloth drawer. I lost count of how many baby wipes I used.







I sent Olivia straight to her room. You may be a smartaleck who asks where I was while all of this was happening. Well, I was cleaning up the lunch dishes, loading the dishwasher, and putting the slipcover back on the family room sofa. The same slipcover that was covered in red, green and blue graffiti last night after Sophia found the markers left out on the table (by Olivia, might I add).

For Pete's Sake, I need a drink.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

Missy-

I LOVE You! I too can feel your pain...My little one has taken to coloring on the walls and getting into just about everything else. I am just glad I can laugh about it with you, I will get you that drink the next time I see you!

Tami

Lindsay said...

You are so hysterical- We also had a year of Desitin issues...no amount of cussing helped in my house.
Lindsay

Kim Sue said...

"you better be praying" that's great!

cherrygarage said...

OMGosh, love love love it.. My sister in law had a post like this on Sunday. Avery just dolled herself up, though, nothing difficult to clean. I'm so glad that girls are like this, too... my boys put me through some crazy stuff!

Anne said...

Oh, my! I sympathize with you, but you have to admit that this story and the photos are most entertaining now that the mess has been cleaned up and everyone's blood pressure has returned to normal. Hang in there.

Baker Girl said...

I have to tell you that I feel your pain. I'm Stacy's sister-in-law, and although my little one dressed herself up this weekend, I had a similar episode when my oldest was only 2 1/2. I came out of my room, through the great room, only find a cloud of baby poweder bellowing out of her room. Oh but that's not the best part. Along with that baby powder was Desitin. The two together make a nice paste...I probably could have hung wallpaper with it!! I'm glad to know someone else lost it too...thank you for the laugh!! :)

Kim said...

I'm a glass half full kinda gal, so just think how baby soft all of your hands are! Ha Ha- that post cracked me up! You are a funny gal and you have to laugh at times like that or you will just cry! Oh, and have that drink already.

Paula Prass said...

My toddler who was non-stop in trouble is now 34 and has 3 yr. old who brings her to her knees regularly (not praying; crying).

Hey did you get my response to pr questions?

Rebekah said...

Hilarious!

One day my daughter took advantage of my distractedness as I waved goodbye to someone out the front door, and climbed up to "look" (that means "touch") a snowglobe she had been forbidden to touch... it broke as it fell to my dresser and then the floor... I had that weird greasy water and glitter and shards of glass everywhere... let me tell you, it is not easy to clean up glass and water at the same time!!!

i'm kelly said...

oh no! yikes.i better remember to keep that away from my little guys.